hello all!! It’s almost the end of day four at training camp… and let me just preface with I haven’t felt this insane and out of my comfort zone in my entire life and I wish I could express this new phase of my life with words, but I haven’t yet processed it all the way. So I am going to write this as a prayer that I would like yall to read as I’m figuring out it all.
*ahem*🙃🥰

Lord, wow. Let me just say I definitely feel like I have met you in a whole new way. There is something that happened to me when we were thrown into long, slow, acoustic, rustic, rural, worship that didn’t stop until You said so, until You spoke how You wanted, until we were able to break through our spirits… I’ve learned You LOVE me and you LIKE me, and I can feel that when I worship and pray to you. You are PROUD of me and You are CHASING me, and I try my best but I fail at chasing You back! I am going to do my best but it’ll never be enough, but that’s ok: because You are always enough. Thank you for that. I praise my God for that! Because I will never have to be afraid anymore, living in full freedom and joy!! My only problem is that I can’t get rid of all of my things buried deep, God. You know there is something else that is holding me back, and I’m having trouble letting go of it. Fully trusting You equals no backing out, and full commitment scares me. So as I’m wrestling with this God, I also want to thank you for what you’ve already done while I’ve been here… because I wanted to quit the first night 🤣🫠 but I’m still here. Every day I cry about four or five times, but YOURE still there. Every hour I just remind myself to get to the next hour, & You’re holding my hand and walking me through it; because of abundant and everlasting ❤️❤️❤️❤️. God, I know you won’t give up on me even though this is going to be the hardest thing I’ve EVER. DONE. But through the hard I will grow more and more into who you want me to be. And you will prune me so I can be more like You, and love the nations I’m about to go meet more like You. Thank you. Alleluia for what you’ve taught me so far Lord Jesus. Remind me to take it slow with You. And remind me that there is a whole world including my home town to walk back with You in. Keep me in your ways in love rather than in pressure and comparison and striving. Until we speak again God, amen.